˚.⋆꒰১ 20/08/26 ໒꒱⋆.˚

 hai !

Long time no see huh ? Uhm I think that this post isn't going to be very joyful, I didn't really knew if someone was really going to read this, so I just decided to throw myself in it. And please if you actually read this post, I'd appreciate to hear your thoughts.

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like, life is a never-ending tragedy? It feels like every single thing I've spent countless hours healing from and putting behind me is somehow always finding a way to crawl back to me to crush my soul into a million pieces once again. I'm in a matrix and I honestly don't know how to pull myself out of it. I've tried so hard to detach myself from my past and every tiny bit of memory from it, but it's always stabbing me in the end. It's like something is always following me everywhere I go. Maybe I'm supposed to wait a little longer for it to fade, but I've waited for countless years for it to heal and the wound is still wide open. Maybe I actually am a coward, and maybe I just want to continue to flee the past forever. It's the same feeling as drowning despite knowing how to swim; I just happen to have forgotten how to, which is weird because I have always managed to find a way to the surface. It feels like an inescapable ghost that is everywhere I go, yet forever out of reach.

May you awlays find magic in the quiet spaces. Until our souls meet again.

Ellie